Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
