I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
