I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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