she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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