Your tits are I can't wait for
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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