Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(970): View more from Colorado

I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.

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(954): View more from Florida

i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.

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(217): View more from Illinois

Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning

(1-217): View more from Illinois

didn't feel it. :)

(217): View more from Illinois

It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.

(1-217): View more from Illinois

wait what? so it's not in america?

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(209): View more from California

Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor

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(231): View more from Michigan

You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches

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(303): View more from Colorado

Why is there bacon braided in my hair

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.

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