so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
