Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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