After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
