I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
