she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
