check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize