Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize