the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
