Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize