i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
