Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize