He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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