you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
