the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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