It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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