Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Someone shit on the floor
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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