yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
