I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
