Nicole vs. Life
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
this hospital has no fireball
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
