I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
