she was so not down for the gang bang
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
