Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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