Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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