you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
