I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just had sex on a roof
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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