You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize