You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
