you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Panties = found
Randomize
