whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
