the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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