The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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