Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
