One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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