if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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