I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
