Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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