am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
My vagina is very pro this idea
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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