i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
