My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Randomize
