jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
