there was a trapeze. enough said
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
