he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
