ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
