the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You ate ashes out of my bong
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
