Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
