I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
