I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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