do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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