Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
please don't ironically join a cult
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