Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize