dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
