Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
