You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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