Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize