I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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