Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
