no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
