I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
