I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
