Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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