It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
