He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
