Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
