I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
