Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Plan B is the new Plan A
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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