I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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